Monday, October 1, 2007

Telugu Families need not apply

I have nothing against the Honorable Telugu people. Except that they are not worth marrying. Or even knowing in some cases. Unless they own a car. That comes with a driver. Telugu drivers tend to drive well. Mostly because they know how to overtake.

Over the weekend, there was a surprise visit by a Telugu Family with Eligible Bachelor. We've heard that there is a severe drop in the number of Telugu Women, hence, I was especially careful that they not cast their Gult net on our Asal Tamil Family.

To begin with, an average Telugu person eats too much rice. I cannot imagine a wedding where there might be 200 Telugu guests. It will result in the prices of rice shooting up. We are a very socially responsible family. Besides, in a proper Tamil Wedding, one is allowed only two rounds. Any more, and we think that you don't come from a family of decent means.

Telugu men are a bit different in their weight putting on patterns from the Tamil ones. The Tamil ones tend to develop a big belly, but the Telugu ones also develop a large bum. This would mean that the local plastic chair isn't enough for them. They also have strange names.

But the final blow was when the Telugu Lady loudly said "Kundi le poo pettu". My family and I were reasonably shocked. Why these Telugu people would want flowers in one's posterior is beyond our imagination. You pettufy poo in your kundi in the privacy of your own home please. We are very decent people. Besides apart from the Lotus, all our Tamil flowers are rather small.

59 comments:

anantha said...

ROTFL!

Btw, she must have said "Kundi LO poo pettu". "Lo" not "le".

Anonymous said...

lol goltis.....

The Kid said...

maybe they did not talk about "poo" after all...

"Kundi le poo pettu" might have been "kundi la poop ettu"... :p

maan I am grossing myself out today :(

Anonymous said...

LOL..my gult wife says it must've been 'kunda lo poo pettu'

Thoppai mama said...

Enga Maalu mami sonna kadhai. Modha modhalle kalyaaNam paNNindu Delli ponaa aamadaiyaan-oda.

kaarthaale paalkaaran kadhavai thatti 'Kundi kholo'-nnu katthuvaanaam.

'Karmam, karmam, kaarthalayum adhuvumaa enna vaartha kekka veNdiyirukku' -nnu orrey salippu.

Anonymous said...

Where is Nilu these days?

Anonymous said...

ATP randi randi

Fark said...

enlarged posteriors, the types which cause the plastic chair to hold on to once they attempt standing up.

http://farkandfunk.wordpress.com/

Indian said...

DISGUSTING POST SHOWS YOUR PAROCHIAL MINDSET. ITS WRTING MEANT FOR THE TRASH CAN

Anonymous said...

....disgusting! shame on an organisation that employs such a writer as a journalist! so parochial, sick and defamatory!

Diwakar said...

This is crazy.... people are looking around me thinking why this guy is laughing alone after reading this post... good one lol

Bikerdude said...

Heheheh boss too much!

My fave is a gult gardner who announced proudly to my mother: Amma, kundilo needlu undhi.

Hehehehe :)

Anonymous said...

You can be reported for abuse, with intention to hurt the sentiments of a section of people !!! Anyway what else can be expected from Tamil or is it Tamizh? who don't even spare Ram

Asal Tamil Penn said...

This is a Ram loving Blog. Even though he is an Iyengaar.

Freeya Vidu.

Kadambari said...

Chinese loving Tamizh family va? Tsk! ;)

Anonymous said...

do you still work at The Hindu? which floor at the canteen do you go to for lunch? second or third? we should meet up, you have a large fan following here

Anonymous said...

a little bit of dip from the standard of your other articles...but i guess that is to be expected considering you churn out so many posts in a month!! just keep them coming...am a big fan of your blog!!

Voice on Wings said...

The correct word is 'gundello' which means 'on the head' :) [Need to check with other language friends on which Tamil words have atrocious meanings in their languages.]

Anonymous said...

I thought you would write something complaining about those tumblers? :)

Anonymous said...

Why does The Hindu have so many opportunities fair?

Revathi said...

That post was a little disappointing-please dont start the same with malayalam, kannada, hindi and french. You will find a lot of even funnier(?) examples..

AR said...

Darling:

Check these:

http://vivekspace.com/2007/09/30/jats-around-the-corner/#comments

http://krishashok.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/a-madraasi-in-new-delhi/#comments

Soft and inexperienced, can’t report from the trenches because she doesn’t have a belly for it, will plod along, passing dull wit as humour in ‘feeturr writing”. asadu tamizh penn would be more like it.

Heh! ;)

Raghu. said...

This is a post where you have crossed the line a bit too far. You can make fun of people who tend to act weird because they are individually so and in some cases because they give a new meaning to the term, orthodox. But its a little disgusting to make fun of people for being what they are. This post is as racist as any post can be. Eating a lot more rice... comon, give me a break.

I have a lot of respect for The Hindu even though it is a pro-Brahmin establishment to the core. But this post takes it to new heights.

Krish Ashok said...

Raghu,
Just my 2c. I was just wondering if the best way to get rid of parochial prejudices is to bring them out into the open and make caricatures out of them, much like chaplin in great dictator.
I mean, stereotypes are all over the place.Sardarji jokes, money-minded marwaris, over-talkative-non-working Bengalis, anybody?
Ofcourse, anybody has the right to get offended, but Im just asking if we must? With our sort of diversity in cultures/language etc, perhaps we should consider rethinking when and how we take offense.

Raghu said...

Krish Ashok,

I get your argument. Lemme put it like this: Take a guy/girl from a community thats not known to produce any literates in the society. But the parents (illiterates) work hard to change this and kid grows up to finish PhD. Now, how do u think he/she should respond when someone decides to still stick it on the guy by pointing out his cannot-read-a-word community? Laugh it off? Do you think it gets rid of the parochial mindset? if so, which community is getting rid of it? the victim or the accuser or the audience?

I dont exactly see anything funny in : "I have nothing against the Honorable Telugu people. Except that they are not worth marrying. Or even knowing in some cases."

Yeah, it is a valid argument that I shouldn't be visiting these blogs if I cant accept it. I guess people are going to be racist any which way - just for fun if not for anything else.

Anonymous said...

You probably need to get rid of the amma.

Anonymous said...

Why does Sundari not like ATP? And why does she feel that she cannot comment here? Isn't that one of the nice things about this Blog -- comments are after all not moderated. And one is allowed to express it anonymously even.

And after 15 years in the journalism business she dismisses 'feeturr writing'????? :O

Anonymous said...

:) I also want to be feeturr writer. Please tell us how to?

Kadambari said...

Bloggers and Blog readers love dissing other Bloggers. The desire to diss them increases much more when the said Bloggers is -- anonymous and female! :)

As your sole Telugu supporter (:D), I say, go forth and express what you feel. People can laugh, be offended, rave, rant, ignore. The possibilities are indeed endless, no? ;)

This is all getting a bit tedious though, so please post something new. There are some of us who still lou you.

Anonymous said...

"Feeturr Writers" totally rock.

I propose a meeting of all Feeturr Writers at Amethyst this evening, to discuss future course of action.

Anonymous said...

I second the idea proposed by previous anon person. Feeturr Writers Collective should be set up; its aim would be to fight against the tyranny of the non believers.

The Tamils, Gults, Iyers, Iyengaars, Mallus and assorted folks -- shall also stand united.

Please switch location from that Peter place though. I propose a meeting over Pulav tomorrow. When presented with North Indian food, all of us shall feel more united.

Anonymous said...

That is brilliant - North Indian food to promote unity.

As a non Feeturr Writer I have a question? Are not FW's the most Peter people anyway? What say ATP? ;)

Anonymous said...

I object. Please define Peter. Better fashion sense? Better hair days? Tsk.

Anonymous said...

Peter == somebody I wish to become, but can never become

Now, who said that? :)

Anonymous said...

I don't think Feeturr Writers in general are Peter people. That quality becomes sharply visible only when we have commie FW's! Agree? :)

Commie Comrade said...

I don't like the derogatory commie usage here. Commie people should unite too. I propose a meeting of Commies over bonda and baji.

Anonymous said...

Commie Comrade:

Bonda and baji eating commie? Shame on you.

Commie Comrade said...

Why? Does Marx make a point against bondas? Or bajis?

Kavitha said...

Had me in splits :))

Anonymous said...

For purposes of better efficiencies, I propose a joint meeting of FWs and Commies. But, no pulav please. Please spare a thought for the digestive system, Tamizh, Gult or otherwise!

I propose a meeting at Annalakshmi for dinner - it appeals to the Peters and commies alike. The location a plus. Can we have a show of hands please?

Deepti said...

I am all for Annalakshmi dinner. Of course, I am not commie or Peter. But hell, anything to support ovar Tamil Ponnu.

Amrita Bhashyam said...

One has truly arrived when your readers have totally lost it! You go girl! :)

Enjoy the dinner and do eat a little on my behalf too. Sigh.

Commie Comrade said...

Done deal. Count me in.

T said...

Me too. What time? When?

eye spy said...

Our sources inform us that - ATP was spotted with a Gult boy at Amethyst last evening.

Anonymous said...

tata

Telugu said...

Hello...Tamizh...

Telugu Vaadi sulla kooda chala peddaga stronga ga vundtundhi...okka saari pookulo pettukuni try cheyyi...appudu telusthundi telugu vaadante emito....Kaali ga koorchuni thokkalo statements ivvku...Chhothadipen...puriyidha?

frissko said...

your fixations are weird, but they provide for hilarious reading :)...first time here and its been a nice ride...

Anonymous said...

post sucks bigtime.
people like you are more than enough to create communal problems!!
disgrace!

La vida Loca said...

Kundi le poo pettu******
just what i needed after a rather depressing week hahhahahahahah

desigirl said...

ROFL! Wait till my gult hubby comes home from work!!! I am an ATP, btw!! LOVE your writing.

Anonymous said...

Hi tamizhpenn,

No complaints against your posts as it's your personal choice. But, I would recommend you changing your blog name to something that shows your individuality rather than showing yourself as sample piece of a community. I think tamizhh people are tolerant and hospitable. Otherwise, being a telugu guy born and brought up in Chennai, I would not be feeling home in Chennai. Your blogname and the post is more like spoiling reputation.

~ nagarjuna

Nags said...

hahaha i laughed a lot at the statement "i pettafy poo wherever u want in the privay of your house please"

hahahah..

was a lil alarmed at the outbursts in here though. u are 'protected' enough right?

Twisted DNA said...

ROFL!

Gults need not apply, huh. Damn, now I can't even propose to marry you :P

Swetha Harish said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Harini Sridharan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sunflower said...

I CAN SAY U ARE UGLY EVEN WITHOUT SEEING U. HOW DO PPL AROUND U BEAR U GAL???? LEARN SOME MANNERS BEFORE MAKING FUN OF SOME1 S PHYSIQUE.....ENNA RASCALLA MIND IT

Rajitha said...

OMG!! i am laughing so much..i got tears in my eyes!! u write so well...

Harini said...

This was really what I needed to read after a very depressing sunday.....
u made my day....ROTFL...I LOL in office......cudn't help it....