From the minute T Anna was born, I raised him to be independent like all good Tamizh boys. He would think for himself, make his own decisions, and never do anything to hurt his mother. Tamizh independence is very good for families. It keeps them together, and ensures that the sole copy of The Hindu is not shredded to pieces.
The Hindu is also important to Tamizh Independence. It ensures that we can put all our various podis - Rasam Podi, Sambhar Podi, Molaga Podi in little potlams and carry them abroad. Without these potlams we could potentially end up eating veli-nattu saapadu and corrupt our Tamizhness.
That is why my daughter works at The Hindu. It keeps Tamizh Nation together.
Imagine my horror today as T Anna walked in with one potlam (a cheap potlam may I add, wrapped in Dina Malar) for his wife. Without asking me. My stomach is tied up and burning. My womb is wailing. But later, I spied and found that he had bought her sanitary napkins. I think sanitary napkins are very non-brahmin.
Whatever happened to my kozandai. Paalooti Valartha Kili...