Monday, May 28, 2007

Tamizh Boys


One of the reasons why being a Tamizh Penn sucks, is to do with the boys that we meet. They are usually – loud, crass and boring. Make that, very boring.

I am twenty-three. Rather old for these times that we live in. And yet, I have not met a single nice Tamizh boy.

So I went to a school that had only the Padipps (aspiring to study in obscure Engineering colleges) type boys. And the only occasion when one of them spoke to me was when they wanted to borrow my Physics notes. So, I started taking very neat and copious notes and interspersed them with some clever doodling. I would religiously copy out elaborate kollam patterns. I was sixteen then and wanted to seem non-threatening to the boys. Only an Asal Tamizh Penn would do that. As luck would have it, no boy really asked for my notes after that and the only thing which happened was amma had to give me ten rupees to buy a new notebook every other week. I have still kept the notebooks. Will give them to my daughter.

Passed out of school and in a cruel twist of fate ended up in all girls’ college, the one with kind, helpful sisters committed to turning us into fine ladies. The only Tamizh boys one met were during the IIT-M festivals. But there were too many complexities there. For one, there was the possibility of running into Gults, who were to be strictly avoided. And still worse, some North Indian chap. Nope those would not do. And besides, as a general rule, all things IIT ought to be avoided. Especially Tamizh men. Have you seen how socially challenged and at the same time moronic they are? My brother is one of those and therefore I must rest my case on that.

In my post-graduate course, there are very few Tamizh boys. Tamizh boys don’t want to become journalists. If they do, then they don’t come to my college.

There are a number of nice North Indian boys I have met though. I suspect that a couple of them are fond of me even. After all, I am sufficiently exotic, brown skinned, pretend to read important books and so fetchingly shy. Yes, there is this rather interesting guy in college who has a teeny-weeny crush on me even.

But even though Tamizh Payyans are boring and annoying, I can’t imagine spending anytime with a person who cannot understand the joys of drinking Kumbakonam Kaapi, trying to get tickets for Thalaiva’s padam before anyone else can and who cannot appreciate the fact that Kamal Hassan can beat Amitabh Whatizname any day when it comes to acting prowess. Designer stubble does not a great actor make.

And so, much as one hates them, Tamizh boys cannot be ignored. After all, I cannot mess with my Asal Tamil Penn identity can I?

27 comments:

anantha said...

As a Thamizh payyan and a Thalaivar rasigan, I have to point out one pizhai. It is "Thalaiva", not "Thailava".

And, what is up with this comment -

Especially Tamizh men. Have you seen how socially challenged and at the same time moronic they are?

I also take umbrage at this gross misrepresentation of the beeratherhood as I see it! But yes, we cannot be ignored! We have our positives, though you don't seem to have elucidated those at all.

anantha said...

And oh, btw, came here via Primalsoup.

Asal Tamil Penn said...

Of course, Thalaiva it is. Blasphemy!

And on the Tamizh Payyans, I will get back to you in detail with a separate post.

ada-paavi!!!! said...

u have not met the accused ones, adhu dhaan problem.

Pradeep said...

Hi thamizh penne,

Ur blog is simple and interesting.
Very fine points being brought out.
kudos :)

~A said...

"ada-paavi!!!" is dead on!! you haven't met the accused ones yet!! Come on thamizh penne!! Look for more such men!!

Sad that you force the use of google account to post comments

Zero said...

asal tamil penn,
You're spot on in pretty much everything you've said about Thamizh boys.

This blog captures that Tamil thing very well, a rarity in the blogosphere -- the Latin-quoting, Tamil-blogging circle, or the self-deprecatory, English-blogging circle which tellingly narrows down the Tamil thing to the TamBrahm thing.

Superb stuff.

~A said...

"Kumbakonam Kaapi" is this a tamil boy thing or tambram boy thing?? I asked around a few tam boys and none have a fancy about "Kumbakonam Kaapi"!!

ada-paavi!!!! said...

~A

its pretty much tambram thing, drinking kaapi and reading hindu.

for tamils its drinking fresh kallu, straight from tree at 7 am :D thts the best

Zero said...

[Well, since I seem to have originated the Tamizh vs TamBrahm thing over here, I think a clarification might be in order. Apologies if I've taken myself and my comment seriously.]
I didn't mean to say there's no TamBrahm thing over here, but that it doesn't confuse the Tamil thing with the TamBrahm thing.

Asal Tamil Penn said...

@Zero: Rhomba feel panna dengo.

Zero said...

Ok!
*Goes "Nenachchen..." but quickly adds on wistful note that no one appreciates subtle sense of humour anymore*

S m i t h a said...

very funny. but we don't want pity. we just deserve a fair chance

Om said...

Tamizh pengal ivlo feel pannuvaanga nu therinjiruntha, college life la konjam "Extra efforts" potrukalaame !!! :D

Donthecat said...

WTF? PMS? FCP? LSD?

Or just a subtle hint for lesbian company ?

Anonymous said...

thamizh penn, i'm sorry that u have'nt met any thamizh dudes that you have been impressed with. However, your generalization regarding their social ability is as riduculous as the northie (hindian) generalization that thamizh girls are ugly.

Anonymous said...

Hehehe, good one!!

Deaths Head Roy said...

haha........

Bong Girl said...

Hey Tamizh Penn,
I quite like Tamizh Boys! You just need to meet the interesting ones.. and there are so many of them! :)

Loved your blog.. will visit regularly.. you're funny!!

Cheers,
Bong Girl

Anonymous said...

hey Tamil penne..

if you go ask tamizh guys..they would also tell how boring.. a tamizh penn could get : P

Boys :)

Brat said...

@Asal Tamil Penn : Its not like all Tamil boys understand the significance of Kumbakonam Kaapi, but on a more serious note, non-Tamil boys can be fun too. You should try hanging out with them sometime. Good post, though.

Vijay said...

What is it with Tamil men and Bong women?

Revathi said...

I know a lot of bong men who went out with tamizh girls, so I guess it must work both ways. Way to go! most bongs dont like south indian cooking, how do they survive if the relationship develops into a marriage?

Jayesh said...

Whats Tamizh...Isnt it Tamil..thats itself shows how Tamizh you are...So no luck for you...

Rajeev said...

Well I am a Tam Brahm, studying in IIT-M, who enjoys Kumbakonam Kapi ( born in Kumbak). I have seen Thalaivar's padam, first day was not possible. wanna try??? :P
Came here via Vaishnavi

Raj Bai said...

Hi! you have nice blog come n visit my blog too.

Krishna said...

Loved your description of Tamil Men....and your blog in general.